Important Disclaimer  We are not attorneys and cannot provide legal advice. The information on this page is based on public sources and government publications, but it may not be complete or up to date. Probate procedures can vary based on individual circumstances. Please consult a qualified attorney for legal guidance. Our number one recommendation is to hire an attorney. Our second recommendation is to consider hiring a professional fiduciary when needed.

Losing Someone: A Gentle Guide for What Happens Next

Losing a loved one shakes everything at once. The hours and days that follow can feel blurry, confusing, and unreal. It is normal to feel overwhelmed or unsure about what to do. This guide is here to help you move through each step at a steady, calm pace. You do not have to get everything done today. Start with the first section and take things one step at a time.

In North Carolina, key state agencies like the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) Vital Records handle vital records, while probate matters fall under county Clerk of Superior Court offices. For emotional support, non-profits such as the Hospice & Palliative Care Centers of North Carolina offer grief resources.

Immediate Steps Within the First Hour

Confirm the Death

If hospice is involved, call the hospice nurse first. If not, call 911 so a medical professional or coroner can pronounce the death. This must happen before any other arrangements can be made. In North Carolina, if the death occurs at home without a doctor present, the county medical examiner must be notified, as required by N.C. Gen. Stat. § 130A-383. Contact your local county medical examiner's office for guidance. Find yours via the North Carolina Office of the Chief Medical Examiner.

Make the Area Safe and Calm

Give yourself a moment to breathe. If others are present, speak gently and let everyone know help is coming. You do not need to rush.

Contact the Funeral Home

Once the death is officially pronounced, the funeral home or cremation provider will arrange the transfer. You do not need to make big decisions right now. You only need to choose who will handle the immediate transport. In North Carolina, funeral homes are regulated by the North Carolina Board of Funeral Service, which ensures consumer protections. They can provide a general price list upon request, as mandated by state law.

Within the First Few Hours

Notify Close Family

Call the closest relatives first. Keep the calls short and simple. You do not have to explain everything or answer every question right away.

Secure the Home and Property

If your loved one lived alone, make sure the home is locked and pets are safe. You can return later to gather personal items and paperwork. In North Carolina's humid subtropical climate with risks of hurricanes, flooding, tornadoes, or coastal erosion, if the property will be vacant, consider immediate steps to prevent damage, such as securing utilities, elevating items in flood-prone areas, and checking for hazards. For more on this, see the U.S. Department of Energy's energy-saving tips, and check local resources like the North Carolina Department of Public Safety Emergency Management for home safety tips.

Locate Important Documents

If you can, collect the basics. Do not worry if you cannot find everything yet.

• Identification
• Any funeral instructions
• Will or estate documents
• Insurance information
• Medical paperwork

North Carolina law requires certain documents for probate. If a will exists, it must be filed with the Clerk of Superior Court within a reasonable time (N.C. Gen. Stat. § 28A-2A-1).

Within the First Day

Choose a Funeral Home or Cremation Provider

If you have not already selected one, now is the time. Ask for a general price list so you can compare costs. Funeral homes must provide one. Use the Funeral Consumers Alliance of North Carolina for directories and consumer guides. Note that North Carolina has specific regulations on cremation and burial, including permits from the DHHS.

Contact the Employer

If your loved one was employed, let the employer know. This begins the process of stopping pay, closing workplace accounts, and providing any benefits information. In North Carolina, if the deceased was a state employee, contact the North Carolina State Employees' Retirement System for survivor benefits.

Arrange Temporary Care for Dependents

If your loved one cared for children, adults with disabilities, or pets, make temporary arrangements until long-term plans can be made. For child-related matters, contact the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services for guardianship resources.

Within the First Week

Order Death Certificates

Most families need several certified copies. Banks, insurance companies, and government agencies will ask for them. The funeral home can usually help with ordering. In North Carolina, death certificates are issued by the North Carolina Vital Records or local county registers of deeds. Costs start at $24 for the first copy and $15 for additional copies. Apply online, by mail, or in person. See their guide at vitalrecords.nc.gov.

Begin Funeral or Memorial Planning

You do not need to rush these decisions. When you are ready, think about:

• Burial or cremation
• Type of service
• Location
• Who may want to participate
• Personal touches that honor their life

For eco-friendly options in North Carolina, check resources from non-profits like the Green Burial Council, which lists certified providers.

Notify Agencies and Institutions

Create a simple checklist so you can track your calls. The most common ones include:

• Social Security (ssa.gov)
• Banks and credit unions
• Insurance companies
• Retirement or pension plans (e.g., state retirement for public employees)
• Veterans Affairs (va.gov; North Carolina has benefits via North Carolina Division of Veterans Affairs)
• Utility companies
• Subscription services

In North Carolina, notify the North Carolina Division of Motor Vehicles if transferring vehicle titles.

Understanding Probate and Legal Steps

Determine Whether Probate Is Needed

Probate is the legal process for settling an estate. Not every estate must go through probate. The need depends on state laws, the presence of a will, how assets are titled, and the size of the estate. In North Carolina, small estates may qualify for a "small estate affidavit" if valued under $20,000 ($30,000 if to a surviving spouse), per N.C. Gen. Stat. § 28A-25-1. Contact your county Clerk of Superior Court for probate in NC. Find it via the North Carolina Judicial Branch.

If probate is required, the court will appoint an executor or administrator. North Carolina may require a probate bond in certain cases to protect the estate and its beneficiaries.

Read the Will

If there is a will, it will name an executor and outline how the estate should be handled. If there is no will, state law decides who serves as administrator under North Carolina's intestacy laws (N.C. Gen. Stat. § 29-14).

Seek Legal Help if Necessary

Simple estates may not require an attorney. Larger estates or situations involving property, disputes, unclear documents, or multiple heirs may benefit from legal guidance. The North Carolina Bar Association offers lawyer referral services and free resources on probate.

Handling the Home and Personal Property

Make a Simple Inventory

Walk through the home and make a basic list of important items such as documents, jewelry, and sentimental belongings. You can sort and organize later.

Forward Mail

Forwarding mail helps protect private information and reduces the risk of identity theft. Use the U.S. Postal Service for this.

Protect Against Fraud

Keep an eye on the following until the estate is settled:

• Bank accounts
• Credit cards
• Online accounts
• Subscriptions and automatic drafts

In North Carolina, report suspected identity theft to the North Carolina Attorney General's Office.

Financial Steps to Expect

Contact Life Insurance Companies

Each insurer will explain what documents they need. Once everything is received, benefits are usually paid within a few weeks.

Manage Household Bills

Basic bills such as utilities and property payments should continue for now to avoid late fees or service interruptions. For vacant properties in North Carolina, consider specialized insurance to cover risks like hurricanes or flooding. Resources available from the Insurance Information Institute.

Review Debts

Most debts are paid from the estate, not by the family. Probate handles this part. Avoid paying bills with your own funds unless absolutely required. North Carolina law prioritizes certain debts in probate (N.C. Gen. Stat. § 28A-19-6).

Emotional Care and Support

Grief looks different for each person. Some feel shock, some feel numb, and others feel deep sadness or anger. There is no correct way to feel and no schedule you must follow.

Reach out when you are ready to:

• Friends and family
• Support groups
• Clergy or faith communities
• Counselors or grief professionals

You do not have to go through this alone. In North Carolina, access free grief support through organizations like the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services or non-profits like Hospice of the Carolinas, which offers bereavement services.

When You Are Ready

Once the first days and weeks settle, you can begin the longer process of handling the estate. This may include transferring property, closing accounts, filing paperwork, and working with the Clerk of Superior Court. North Carolina probate timelines typically range from 6-12 months for standard cases.

If the court requires a probate bond, you can get fast pricing and approval at ProbateCourtBond.com. Take your time. There is no need to rush. For more on North Carolina probate bonds, see N.C. Gen. Stat. § 28A-8-1, which outlines when bonds are mandatory.

Take a Moment... It is completely normal to feel unsure of what to do next. You do not have to solve everything today. A steady, simple step is enough.

(This guide was customized for North Carolina based on verified sources as of November 15, 2025. For updates, check the linked sites directly.)